Friday, 3 February 2017

The Unknown

The unknown and overcoming it is something I have struggled with for a very long time and is something I talked about in my new years resolutions post.



The Unknown and the though of it scares me, but like with any fear I talked about it with my therapist. It doesn't mean just because I have talked about it with my therapist for a couple of sessions that I am magically cured and no longer scared of the unknown because it defiantly doesn't work like that, although i wish it did.

*deep breathe* since I was a id i hated doing things that i didn't know every detail about, I hated meeting people and doing things that I couldn't predict the outcome to and throughout the years with the experiences I have been through it has enforced this fear more and more, I was finding myself stopping doing things because I couldn't predict what was going to happen.

Last year, things had to change. I made massive decisions that ultimately I didn't know what was going to happen. I had to make the decision whether I was going to better myself and further my life or I was going to take the safe option. I chose to take the riskier option. I chose to move cities, start uni, a new job and so much more! It was terrifying and looking back all so worth it. It was worth it because of the experiences I have had (both positive and negative), the knowledge I have gained, and the friends and people i have met, as well las so many more things.

While these are things that I have taken a chance with it doesn't mean I wasn't terrified by them, I am also finding that I am still making decisions out of fear of not knowing what is going to happen. I have needed the start of potential relationships with amazing people because i am scared of getting hurt, I don't do things and avoid places and doing things because I can't predict the outcome. One event imparticular have been heavily based on not knowing what is going to happen and with this particular thing whatever I decide I cannot predict the outcome, which obviously is something that I struggled to deal with. Ultimately I have realised that, this is probably something I will always struggled with however I came to the decision on what to do in that situation. I decided that ultimately I have to do what is best for me, I don't know if it will be the right decision in 6 months, five year or even 20 years but right now this is the best decision for me. Yes, it could be viewed as the most predictable option but ultimately I chose this decision because it is the best thing for me.

Ultimately sometimes the safe option is what is best for us and that is how we should live always choosing the option that will be best for you, whether that is scary and unknown or not. My therapist and I made a list as we do quite often that list consisted of some of the  things that I have done that I didn't know what the outcome was going to be and it turned out the it was mostly positive outcomes, sure there were things that turned out to be crap ut from those experiences I have learned valuable things and they have helped shape me into the person i am today.

Live life with the thought process of how good is it going to be for you, what are you going to learn that will be of value to you!

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